Businesses and individuals have 30 days to round up their toner cartridges and turn them in to US Border and Customs Protection offices. Violations are subject to fines up to $1,000 per cartridge and 30 days imprisonment.
“Asylum for cartridges currently in the U.S. is not a viable option due to the current terrorist threat level”, said Director of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano.
There will be no distinction between cartridges hiding in closets, storerooms and desks versus cartridges working productively in laser printers.
US Labor Secretary Hilda L. Solis announced a new jobs program designed to provide new work for secretaries. “To replace the undocumented toner cartridges, we are implementing a secretarial pool that will type documents, reports and financial statements”, said Solis.
Secretaries who can document that they have not been working for at least 12 months may apply. Businesses who hire secretaries during the next 12 months will receive a $1,000 tax credit for these new hires. Solis proudly announced that, “These new hires mean new jobs, new health care benefits and new opportunities for millions who have been out of work”.
Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner announced that a business tax credit of $100 would apply for any typewriter manufactured in the United States that is purchased during the next 12 months.
Lisa P. Jackson , Administrator for the US Environmental Protection Agency, applauded the toner cartridge ban. “Toner cartridges have been on our recommended ban list for quite some time. The plastic cartridges sit in landfills and take hundreds of years to degrade back into the soil”, said Jackson.
Toner cartridge advocate HP Bradbury complained that these new governmental restriction unfairly blame toner cartridges. “Clearly, the administration is favoring ink cartridges and ribbons over my hard-working constituents”, Bradbury said in a rally on the DC Mall Saturday. Bradbury also criticized the Labor Department promotional poster that portrays only middle-aged, white women with Napolitano-like hairstyles being qualified for the job.
CBP commissioner Alan Bersin announced that the toner cartridges rounded up would be recycled mostly for material to patch the border fence between the U.S. and Mexico. Approximately 20% of the recycled material would also be used for CBP warning signs and Homeland Security threat level signs.